Day number one is something that has been on my mind for over three years. When I found out I was pregnant with Kessler I was sure that if he was a girl, {I thought} I would feel that my family was complete if it was a girl. Well he wasn't a girl.
When I was in the hospital with Alivia I knew right after she was born that I would have more children and even thought I would be okay if it happened sooner than later, I know it was my Heavenly Father preparing me for Cooper. (it doesn't mean that I did not cry when I found out I was pregnant again when Liv was only 5 months old).
I have often wondered if the veil is thin right after you have a newborn, because I remember feeling that peace of knowing there was more kids out there for our family after each delivery.
I really appreciated hearing the talk given in conference on Saturday afternoon by Neil L. Andersen, I remember thinking I don't think our family is complete, but knowing I am happy and have been happy with each new chapter that has been written.
I recently went to my Doctor for my annual womanly check and he commented your uterus is large....I wanted to say, yeah I hear that all the time :) but he sent me down for an ultrasound and I then found out the reason why I haven't been able to get pregnant for that last two years. Nothing deadly or horrible, just annoying and not surprising.
I haven't commented much to anyone really about how I really feel about having another baby, because I think I have been confusing myself with thoughts of freedom, expense, sleep, travel, but also knowing when I see a baby I would love my other baby girl that I have been thinking about for years. I have heard from other mom's it would be nice if you got a letter from Heaven telling you your child bearing days are complete, well done.
So with all that confusing information my daily Thanksgiving is about being Thankful to be a Mother. I didn't grow up thinking I wanted to be a mom, but I also didn't think that I didn't want to be a Mother. I just know there is nothing.....NOTHING...I would rather have done in this life.
