A new resturaunt here in Utah

The name of these restaurants: "The Steak Center "
Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basket ball hoops at either end and folding metal chairs and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths.
The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters, (men in their70's who will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life).
The main menu items will be: Porterhouse Rockwell Steak, Primary Rib, and the Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef, garnished with Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes.
We will also have, when it's in season, Eliza R. Snow crab. Let's not forget a whole line of "And It Came to Pasta", including Kraft Moroni and Cheese.
Additionally, we'll have breakfast items, including Pearls of Great Rice and Frosted Minivans, as well as Adam -ondi-Omelettes.
The house drink is "Apple Juice."Also available, "In Our Lovely Desserts", including Fast Sundaes, Gadianton Cobbler and the sinfully delicious Laman Meringue Pie with Lemuel Lime ice cream.
The waiters will be 12 and 13 year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties. At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.
Franchises are selling fast...Get yours while they last!!!

You know you are a flight attendant if..

Dedicated to all you flight attendants and former flight attendants.
Fly safe.
(My personal favorite number 16 and 20)

1. You can eat a four course meal standing at the kitchen counter

2.You search for a button to flush the toliet

3.You look for the "crew line" at the grocery store

4.You can pack for a two week trip in a roll-aboard

5.You have pens with different hotel names on them

6.You NEVER unpack

7.You recognize pilots by the back of their heads and not by their faces

8.You can tell from 70 yards away, if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin

9.You care about the local news three states away

10.You can tie a neck scarf 36 ways

11.You know 25 different uses for the air sick bag and none of them pertain to vomit

12. You understand the 24 hour clock and actually use it

13.You own two different sets of uniforms "fat" and "thin"

14.You don't think in months you think in bid cycles

15.You always point with two fingers

16.You get a litte too excited by certain types of ice

17.You stand in front of the door and politely say "buh-bye", "thanks" and "have a nice day" when someone leaves your home

18.You can make a sentance using all of the following phrases: "at this time", "for your safety" , "feel free" and "as a reminder"

19. You know what is on the current cover of People, Star, and intouch magazines.

20.You stop at every fire extinguisher and make sure the "gauge is in green"

21. You thigh are coverd with bruises from elbows and armrests

22.When you wake up you have to look at the hotel stationary to figure out where you are at

23. You refer to cities by their airport codes

24. Every time the doorbell rings you look at the ceiling

25.You actually understand every item on this list